potatoes
sour cream or yogurt
salt
pepper
sugar
margarine
milk
dill seed
chives
cooked spinach
cheddar cheese
I made this recipe a couple of weeks ago with no real anxiety leading up to it, while cooking it, or when I tasted it. It was very easy to make and came out great. I hadn't allocated enough prep time to skin the potatoes, so it wasn't finished baking in time for our family dinner that night. But it re-heated really well the next couple of days, and the family all enjoyed it.
In the past, this recipe's name alone would have scared me away. Mashed potatoes conjure up memories of butter and holiday meals with an excess of food surrounding me. Too many people would inevitably comment on my appearance and small amount of food consumption.
Casseroles represented a place for secret fatty ingredients like butter, cream, and many other "scary" foods to hide. I imagined that people would add things to recipes to cause me to gain weight, and casseroles were a great place to hide calories.
Although I sound like I was paranoid, well-meaning people in my life have resorted to these types of methods in an attempt to do what they thought it would take to save my life.
When we love people, we resort to extraordinary and ludicrous acts to protect those people. Sometimes they are healthy for the relationship, and sometimes they are not. Regardless, they are an attempt to put that love into action.
When a family is affected by an eating disorder, the whole family suffers. So do any of the people who love the individual with an eating disorder (ED). Many people look for a cause for the ED. They search for a treatment and a cure. They want answers to questions like: Why does this happen? What causes it? How can we stop it?
But what they really want to know is: Did I do anything that led to my loved one's ED? Did I do something wrong? Didn't I love her/him enough?
In short the answers are: Yes, you did something that eventually influenced your loved one to use an ED as a coping mechanism. Yes, you did something wrong in your relationship with the person you love. No, you didn't love her/him enough.
Before you get mad and think that I am blaming parents and other loved ones for EDs, keep reading...
There is not consensus on what causes an eating disorder. The National Eating Disorder Association list various psychological, interpersonal, social, and biological factors that may contribute to eating disorders.
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/factors-may-contribute-eating-disorders
The infuriating and depressing thing about not knowing what causes eating disorders is that we do not have a guaranteed way to treat them. And when you also know the following facts, it is almost more than a person can handle:
Between 5-20% of individuals struggling with anorexia nervosa will die. The probabilities of death increases within that range depending on the length of the condition.
Anorexia nervosa has one of the highest death rates of any mental health condition. http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/anorexia-nervosa
But back to what I said earlier:
We ALL do things that influence our loved ones to use unhealthy coping mechanisms.
We ALL do things in our relationships that are not loving.
We ALL will never be able to love a person enough.
I am not trying to excuse people's poor attempts at loving one another, just pointing out that many of the things in our relationships that cause conflict are motivated by our love for others. But sometimes we try to love others by controlling them.
I can choose to remain angry and resentful that the people who love me sometimes tried to control my actions, or I can choose to acknowledge that they were loving me in the best way that they knew how.
Only God can love us in a way that is always healthy and supportive and patient. The rest of our relationships will be full of blundered attempts at putting our love into action.
The important thing to remember for people with anorexia nervosa and those who love them is that we are not working against each other. We are on the same side. We must work together more openly and honestly, so that we can heal wounds, reconcile resentments, and find healthy ways of loving one another to ensure that the people with AN can live long, joyful, lives; lives that can be dedicated to being disciples of Jesus.
*The National Eating Disorder Association has many resources to help people as they are supporting their loved ones recover from an eating disorder.
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-family-friends-network
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